No Shade with Morgan Harlow
September 9, 2026



Season 1, Episode 1 – “The Tits of Tika Mays"

“Alright bad bitches and neurotic fella’s. Calm the fuck down!

Seriously … you guys are cheering for a nobody. I can guarantee I’m not even the most famous person in this room, fuck it, I can pretty confidently state that I’m not likely to be in the top ten most famous people in this room and you guys are all fucking nobody’s too. But let’s face it, there’s always a couple of OnlyFans legends in any given room these days, right? … Yeah, I see you bad bitches out there. *audience cheers*

Alright Morgan, regroup. Back on track. How are we doing in California tonight? *audience cheers*

Good, good. Some of you may be aware, but let me take a second to introduce myself. I’m Morgan Harlow, 18 years old, San Francisco. Professionally judgemental and as of yesterday … professionally paid. *laughs* … honestly, I don’t how the fuck that happened either, but here we are.

I’m delighted to welcome you to the first ever episode of “No Shade.” … which is already a fucking lie, because all I’ve got to bring to the table is shade. Packed. Double-bagged. No talent necessary, just pure unadulterated shade.

First thing I gotta say from the jump … look, I love music. I really fucking do. I just also love pointing out when the music industry is being really fucking ridiculous. And right now? I guess I’m not short of material. The same cannot be said of the poor fabrics attempting to keep the tits of Tika Mays on the right side of the FCC and general public decency worldwide. Those things could be classified as a dangerous weapon, do you have a permit for them, girly?

And while we’re handing out permits … can we talk about Tahlia? Girl went radio silent for five straight months after that sex-tape with Rico Love leaked, just enough time to let the attention die down and let people forget about it. Only to fucking return with a track titled “$trip” which fucking features Rico Love! … Chica, you just reminded everybody all about it again! … not that I had forgotten about it. Come on, eight, maybe nine inches, significant left curve, thick shaft, fully shaven … sorry, where am I again? *audience laughs*

The you’ve got Jadyn Ghalen dropping the music video for “Cut Deep” with a video that’s pretty much just an excuse for him to smoke weed and dry-hump a supermodel. We get it dude, you’ve fucking won in this life, stop ramming it down our throats. Or do, I have a pretty strong gag reflex. Danica Novak, the Croatian supermodel plays his muse in that video, giving some serious “fuck-me” eyes while Jadyn raps about being deep and being wounded by the pressure to be incredible. I think I figured out where I’m going wrong … when I’m being all melodramatic and emotionally wounded I don’t fuck supermodels, I just hit the foetal position with a bag of Doritos … *laughs* I guess there really is levels to this shit.



Talking about dudes with attitudes, we’ve got Adam Black in his late thirties doing the whole “alt-rock daddy” thing and these silly bitches are all still lining up for a shot at that title. The man is from the Black family, that whole fucking clan should come with a warning label. “DO NOT INGEST, MAY BE HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH!” *laughs* … but seriously, the guy’s still running that teenage fantasy and kudos to him for the commitment. A track titled “When You Go Down”, full of guitars and lines about blowjobs in the backseat and a line like “baby, you can’t handle that”. Honestly, it’s all just bluster unless someone leaks those nudes and lets us all know whether that cocky asshole energy is justified or not.

But when it comes to Billy, I don’t think I know a chick that doesn’t have his dick pics on their phone, fuck it I think I know a couple of dudes with em’ on their phones too. Fair play, the man stands on his own impressive business and that swagger is fully justified, shit! … he released a single called “Find Myself or Whatever” and my immediate hope was that he’d find himself and realise what the rest of us have known for years … that he’s an asshole. A beautiful brown eyed, dark skinned, tattooed bad-boy with a cock like a stallion … fuck! Blacked out again, sorry!!! *audience laughs*

And shit … have you heard the news? Pop groups are back!!! … *pretends to check notification on phone* Nope, never mind, Brian just left.

What the fuck was that all about? The Stat Nerds finally released their shelved 2014 debut album … just for Brian to immediately leave afterwards. That’s not a reunion, that’s a hostage situation. Dude was literally locked in litigation for over ten years and by the time the litigation was over he released he was too old to be in a boy band.

But I have to respect the integrity of him for stepping away from that manufactured pop group world. Look at CLEO … they got assembled in a conference room like a fucking IKEA flat-pack and they’re out there trying to sell us the idea that these five girls came together as some sort of destiny. Fuck, that’s why their name is all caps. “Five unique personalities, one magnetic energy”, right guys, RIGHT?! Buy our shit. *audience laughs* … that’s not a real natural group, but come on, have they ever been real natural groups. It’s the same cycle, just repeating for different era’s.

Honestly, I love them all. I really do! But you gotta admit, it’s fun poking fun at these fuckers, right?

Hopefully a lot more episode to come. Thank you for being here tonight for the very first episode of “No Shade”, we’re gonna keep doing this for as long as you guys are willing to check it out. I’ll be here with a bag of Doritos and a strong gag reflex, ready to call things out for exactly what they are.

So thank you all for being part of the very first one.

I’m Morgan Harlow, this has been “No Shade”. Now let’s get the fuck out of here before they start doing ID checks!”